


Big House Party with a Crowded Kitchen

by lemmelynxu (AgraFan)



Category: MasterChef (TV) RPF, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Gen, MasterChef AU, OT5 Friendship, just ot5 shenanigans, lots of food talk, lots of masterchef cliches, minor allusions to weed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-04
Updated: 2014-08-04
Packaged: 2018-02-11 18:39:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2078892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgraFan/pseuds/lemmelynxu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Masterchef AU where the boys are the final five on the show. It's the US version of the show but for some reason the final five are four British guys and an Irish guy (I don't make the rules) and they're all friends and have a really good time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Big House Party with a Crowded Kitchen

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: lemmelynxu
> 
> I don't necessarily follow the format of the show and I don't know shit about food! I just copy what they ALWAYS say on the show. Umm rated T but that's me being cautious, it's only as naughty as a 14+ American TV show about cooking. Also when people go home they're not gone forever, don't worry.

"For your mystery box challenge, you will have 60 minutes to make us the most stunning dish using traditional Chinese ingredients," announced Gordon Ramsay.

The contestants all looked at their piles of ingredients, their brains working desperately to come up with a good dish. They were the final five, and although it was a competition, they had all become very close over the weeks they had spent cooking in the Masterchef kitchen. Perhaps it was because they felt that only the five of them truly understood what it was like to get this far into the competition, and found themselves becoming friends as well as competitors.

"Your time starts... Now!" said Gordon, and the five chefs immediately started washing and cutting and peeling. The three judges quietly discussed the challenge and the contestants at the front of the room.

"Who do you think will really shine in this challenge? We haven't seen any Asian dishes coming from any of the final five home cooks so far in the competition," said Joe Bastianich.

"I think Liam looks very confident. He's working quickly, seems to have a plan, and he really understands the flavours and knows how to put together a delicate flavour combination," Graham Elliot commented.

"Harry's been consistent throughout the competition and he does well under pressure, even when he's not 100% sure of himself," said Gordon. "My only concern is that once again, he'll take on too much at once. He's got three pots on the stove and something's going into the oven now."

"Look at them," said Joe. "Now that Ben's been eliminated, our home cooks look like they could start a Masterchef boyband."

The judges walked through the cooking stations to check on the contestants.

"Zayn, tell us about your dish," said Gordon.

"I'm making like a chicken stir fry with like a spicy sauce," Zayn explained while hurriedly chopping broccoli. Joe dipped a spoon into the sauce Zayn had set aside. Joe made a face and Zayn stopped what he was doing to look at him, panicked.

"It could use more flavour. It's a little watery," Joe critiqued. Zayn nodded and grabbed a bottle of hoisin sauce and began pouring it in.

"Liam, you look confident. Have you made spring rolls before? They're such a technical dish," Gordon asked.

"You know what? This is actually the first time I've made these on my own but it's going pretty well. My dad has this Chinese cookbook at home and we've made all sorts of Chinese dishes together," said Liam.

"So you're going to serve us the best spring rolls we've ever seen in Masterchef history?" asked Gordon.

"Yeah mate, I hope so," said Liam cheerily.

"So Harry, it looks like you have a lot of things going on. Do you have everything under control?" asked Graham.

"I always do," said Harry, while stirring a pot of a reddish soup.

"Looks like something's burning in this pot," remarked Graham. Harry's eyes widened as he hastily took the pot off the stove and tasted what was inside.

"It actually tastes alright like this," Harry said after a moment. "And that's the most important thing!" he continued in a cheesy, sing-song voice.

"Something smells good here," Joe said as he arrived at Louis' station. "Are we finally going to see a stand-out dish from you tonight? You haven't had one so far."

"You know, I think at this point in the competition, it's either go big, or frankly, go home," Louis said in a mock-serious tone.

"Well let's hope you're not the one going home," Joe said ominously.

"Niall, you look worried. What are you making here?" asked Graham.

"I'm making egg noodles but I'm not sure how they're going to turn out," Niall replied, biting his nails as he peered into the pot.

"Looks like they're sticking together. Are you sure you put enough flour on them?" Graham said as he looked into the pot as well.

"No, I don't think I did," said Niall, trying to pull some of the noodles apart with a fork.

The five chefs cooked until the time ran out and they were called up one by one to have their dishes tasted by the judges. Harry was called up first.

"Please, describe your dish," said Gordon.

"It's a hot and sour soup with bamboo shoots and mushrooms and toasted sesame seeds," Harry announced proudly, feet together and hands held behind his back.

Gordon ate a spoonful of the soup. "Certainly not the most technical dish, but there are many little things that come together quite nicely. The plating's a bit quirky, don't you think?" remarked Gordon, picking at a leaf floating on the surface of the soup. It was arranged with two piles of sesame seeds that created a somewhat phallic shape.

"I suppose that's how I do," Harry replied, smiling cheekily. He bowed slightly. "Thank you chef." Harry turned around and did a gentle jog back to his station.

Liam's dish was the next to be judged. Although he was nervous, Liam was confident in his dish.

"Please describe your dish," said Joe.

"They're spring rolls with a sweet and sour dipping sauce," Liam said.

Joe picked up a spring roll and held it up to eye level. He made a show of breaking it open, never breaking eye contact with Liam as he dipped one of the halves into the orange sauce and chewed it thoughtfully.

"The filling to wrapper ratio is excellent. The outside is perfectly crunchy, and the sauce has the perfect amount of acidulation. It's light enough to balance out the heaviness of the crunchy exterior. This dish has a level of finesse that we hadn't seen from you yet until tonight. I'd say it's your best dish so far. Nice work," Joe commented. 

Liam beamed, eyes crinkling at the corners. "Thank you chef," he said, smiling all the way back to his station.

Zayn was next to be called to the front. He looked nervous.

"Zayn, describe your dish for us please," said Graham.

"It's a chicken stir fry with carrots and snow peas in a spicy sauce," replied Zayn, rubbing at his beard as he spoke.

Graham piled some of each component onto a fork and chewed it carefully, looking up to the left as he considered the dish.

"It's not bad. The chicken is a bit dry, a bit overcooked. If you had taken it off the pan about 30 seconds earlier, it would've been perfect. The sauce is nice, but doesn't have a whole lot going on. It could have a lot more flavour to it. Other than that, it's a pretty good dish," Graham said.

"Thank you chef," Zayn said, nodding at Graham and turning back to his station.

"Niall, let's go please," ordered Gordon. "Tell us about your dish."

"It's braised beef with egg noodles," said Niall.

Gordon stuck his fork in the dish, trying to pick up a few noodles. "The noodles are quite sticky. They're all stuck together. It's like a cake," said Gordon. Niall watched him nervously, looking smaller and younger than usual. Gordon finally picked up a forkful of the noodles with a piece of beef and ate it. "The noodles are definitely too sticky. I can tell that you tried to put a bit of sesame oil on them to separate them, but it's just turned this into a really greasy cake. The beef is perfectly cooked and the flavour is perfect, but the noodles just ruin the dish. Damn," Gordon said, looking at Niall with disappointment.

Niall looked down, uttered a quick "thank you chef," and returned to his station.

Louis walked up to the front with his dish. "Louis, please describe your dish," said Graham.

"It's a baked sesame chicken with green onions," said Louis, the mock-serious tone failing to mask his nerves.

Graham speared one of the pieces of chicken and examined it carefully at eye level before popping it into his mouth. Louis watched him anxiously. "It's delicious," he commented. "The chicken is cooked perfectly. The flavours are all there, and I like the heat that kind of creeps up on you. The raw green onions on top give it that nice freshness too. This is really something great."

Louis let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and let the relief wash over him. "Thank you so much," he gushed. He quickly walked back to his station, beaming with pride.

"We've seen some excellent dishes today, and some not so excellent ones," Gordon announced to the whole room. "But one dish stood out as the best one. This dish was head and shoulders above the competition. And the home cook who gave us the best dish of the night was..." Gordon paused dramatically, giving the cameramen an opportunity to get a shot of each contestant's face. "Liam! Liam, you will be safe from this elimination round and you will also have a special advantage. Please come to the pantry with us where we'll discuss your reward."

Liam beamed once again as he made his way to the pantry. Niall and Zayn both clapped him on the back and congratulated him as he passed their stations.

When they arrived in the pantry, the judges stood opposite to Liam across a white kitchen counter.

"Now Liam, you get to choose between these three dishes. Whichever one you pick, the other contestants will have to make," Graham explained. Liam nodded. "You may want to choose the dish in order to target your toughest competition and get them out now."

Liam watched as the three dishes were presented to him and thought carefully. As competitive as Liam is, and as much as he wants to win and prove himself, he couldn't pick any one of the boys that he'd want to take out of the competition. Finally, he made his decision and they walked back out of the pantry to announce the elimination test to the other boys.

Liam jogged up to the balcony overlooking the cooking stations and looked down, leaning against the railing.

"The dish that you will all be cooking for today's elimination test is... Brownies!" said Gordon. Zayn and Louis exchanged a conspiratorial smirk. "You will have 60 minutes to bake us the perfect brownies. They must be nice and dense but still moist, with a rich chocolate flavour. But we don't want to see plain brownies. They must have some special element to them." Zayn and Louis both stifled a laugh. "You have 5 minutes in the pantry to gather your ingredients."

Harry, Niall, Louis, and Zayn dashed to the pantry, struggling to fit through the door at the same time. The four of them scrambled around, appearing to be simulating a small hurricane. The judges looked at each other in confusion as they heard raucous laughter and shouting coming from the pantry. By the time they emerged with their faces flushed red and still smiling, they had each filled their baskets with all the necessary ingredients for brownies as well as a few strange items.

Their cooking time had begun and the cameraman went around to each chef, interviewing them as they prepared their brownie batter.

"Um... I s'pose I do eat a lot of brownies, but I rarely ever make them myself. So like, hopefully I know enough about them to make a sick batch!" said Zayn.

"I actually used to work in a bakery, but we didn't make a lot of brownies. I've made them a few times though, so I'm feeling pretty confident. The brownies I'm making probably won't taste like anything the judges have had before," Harry said, while simultaneously scooping out a teaspoon of chili powder and a teaspoon of wasabi.

"I'm so glad Liam chose brownies, this is right up my alley. I made these all the time back home in Mullingar," Niall smiled.

"I won't lie to you, I actually have no clue what I'm doing. I eat brownies all the time but I, uh, can't say I've ever made them like this. Turns out they don't have my secret ingredient in the pantry. I'm just going to wing it and uh, see how it goes!" Louis' mock-serious tone was back and he gave the camera a tight-lipped smile.

Liam watched them all cook from above, smiling proudly at them. "Come on lads, you can do it!" he yelled from the balcony.

"35 minutes left. Your brownies should be in the oven by now," called Joe.

Zayn's brownies had already been in the oven for five minutes and he was now chopping pecans and lightly roasting them in a pan. Niall and Harry both scrambled to put their brownies in the oven a few seconds later while Louis was still struggling to pour his too-thick brownie mix into the tray.

"Let's go Lou! Don't give up! Those are gonna be ace, man!" shouted Liam.

"Thank you Liam, I truly appreciate your support in these times mate," replied Louis, always feigning seriousness.

When the clock had counted down to their last ten minutes, the cameras did another round through the kitchen.

"I really don't know whether mine will be done in time," said Louis, looking into the oven anxiously.

"I really hope the judges like the spiciness..." Harry said with uncertainty. His eyes were red and watering from the piece of brownie he just popped into his mouth.

"I've just been chillin' mate, you know? I don't think they turned out exactly the way I wanted them but it's better than I expected," Zayn said matter-of-factly. "I was expecting them to be a total disaster!"

"I'm absolutely buzzin'!" exclaimed Niall as he perfected his presentation. "Thanks Payno, I owe you one!"

"Time's up! Hands in the air!" shouted Gordon. All four boys raised their hands and stopped working. They all brought their dishes to the black table at the front and stood in a row.

Harry's brownies were first. Gordon eyed the two circular brownies on the plate with curiosity, about to question the two dollops of whipped cream that had an uncanny resemblance to nipples. However, he decided to hold his tongue when he saw Harry's dead serious face staring down at the brownies. Gordon cut himself a piece of the brownie and as soon as it went into his mouth, his expression changed into one of shock. "Wow," said Gordon, swallowing quickly and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Harry, this brownie is extremely spicy. The texture is good and there's a good amount of chocolate but it is far too spicy. Why did you think it was a good idea to add this much heat?"

Harry was still staring at the brownies with a look of concentration, seemingly unfazed by his criticism. "Might have overdone the wasabi," he agreed.

"Might have? Well let's hope someone else here did worse than that, because that was one of the strangest desserts I think we've ever had in Masterchef history," said Gordon.

Joe went over to Zayn's plate, looking at the two perfectly square brownies arranged next to each other with a pale pink frosting and roasted pecans.

"Presentation is good," remarked Joe. "Let's see if they taste as good as they look."

Joe picked up a knife and cut off a corner of the brownie. Keeping the brownie balanced on the flat edge of the knife, he brought it up to eye level and examined it closely, casting Zayn an intimidating look as he ate the brownie right off the knife.

"The frosting is good and the pecans are nice," Joe began. "But the brownie itself is not very flavourful. It could have way more cocoa powder. It's also extremely dry, it's almost like a chocolate biscuit, not a brownie. It crumbles when you try to cut into it."

Graham approached Louis' plate and Louis gave him an apologetic smile.

"I see these didn't really turn out the way you wanted," said Graham. "Presentation is sloppy, there's caramel everywhere. It looks like you just poured it all over the place without looking." He took a bite of the brownie and chewed it thoughtfully, looking up to his left. "It's definitely way too sweet and way undercooked. It's a little burnt at the bottom too, it was really hard to cut even though the top half is practically a liquid."

Louis nodded, uttering a "yes chef," without meeting Graham's eyes.

"Last but not least, Niall," said Gordon, heading over to Niall's dish. The brownies were cut into two long rectangles and were covered in pieces of bacon. "Niall, these look absolutely stunning!" he bit into one and chewed it for a moment before saying, "The saltiness from the bacon adds a really interesting flavour to your brownie, which is delicious and moist. You've nailed it. Well done."

Niall smiled blindingly at Gordon and thanked him. While the judges went to discuss who would be going home, the five contestants all erupted into giggles, which they tried to stifle.

"Louis! Your brownie's oozing out everywhere, it looks absolutely disgusting," Liam commented from the balcony. One of Louis' brownies, which had already been cut sloppily, was starting to completely lose its shape.

"Oh, so you think you're a big man now don't you Payno? I'd like to see you try to make brownies half as good as mine," responded Louis.

"Mate, I really don't think anything could be worse," joked Liam, which earned him a piece of Louis' brownie flying up to the balcony and hitting him on his clean white t-shirt. They both laughed and Liam turned to Niall. "Nialler, I didn't think you had it in you! Nice work, man."

"Yeah, sick brownies!" said Zayn, putting an arm around Niall's shoulders.

Niall laughed. "Thank you Zayn, I love you! Harry, did you see Gordon's face when he tried yours?" Niall cackled even harder at that.

Harry, who had been looking rather distressed about his bad reviews, suddenly had a smile tugging at his lips.

The judges came back out and stood in front of the contestants. "Niall, please step forward," ordered Graham. Niall obeyed, taking a large step out in front of the other boys. "Your brownies were the best of the night. Take off your apron and join Liam on the balcony."

Harry, Zayn, and Louis each high-fived Niall before he jogged up to the balcony, where Liam smiled proudly at him and put his arm around his shoulders, Niall's smaller frame nestled comfortably under Liam's bicep.

"The rest of your brownies all fell far below our expectations," started Joe. "But one person's brownies were still much better than the other two. That person is... Zayn. Zayn, please take off your apron and join the others on the balcony."

Zayn nodded his thanks to the judges as Harry and Louis congratulated him and clapped his shoulders. He stood on Liam's other side on the balcony, patting Liam's bum as he settled himself against the railing.

"Harry, Louis," said Gordon. "Both of you made us some very disappointing brownies tonight. It was a very tough decision. Harry, you had a unique idea, but it was poorly executed and they were simply not edible. Louis, you got the batter wrong and cooked them so unevenly that they were burnt and raw at the same time. The person who will not be continuing on in the competition is... Louis. I'm sorry. Harry, say goodbye to Louis and join the others on the balcony."

Harry pulled Louis into a tight hug. When Harry left to stand on the balcony, Louis stayed below, standing before the judges.

"Louis, you've had an amazing journey in the Masterchef kitchen. Let's have a look back at some of your greatest moments," Gordon said. They all watched Louis' montage video proudly, smiling at the footage of his antics and triumphs in the kitchen. 

When it was over, Louis shook hands with each of the judges, assuring them that he would never stop cooking. Gordon turned Louis around to face the balcony and asked him, "Who do you think is going to be the next Masterchef?"

Louis thought for a moment, and replied solemnly, "I... I think I'm going to go with my man Niall Horan. Everybody give it up for Niall!" Niall laughed as the other boys all applauded him and Harry swung his arm down, pretending to hit Niall in the crotch.

Louis flashed a bright smile up at the balcony as the remaining four all waved goodbye to him (Louis' responding hand gestures did not make it onto the show due to American censorship rules) and he walked out of the kitchen.


End file.
